• Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!
  • The higher you are, the farther you fall
  • Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
  • When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
  • I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
  • If it is tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
  • Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but milk do?
  • Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone
  • I’m more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!
  • When I’m good I’m very good but when I’m bad I’m better
  • To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life’s problems
  • WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? … Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i’LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!
  • I avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it
  • I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours